Won't Pull Away Again (Steve Rogers x reader)

A/N: Small mention of physical relations

Enjoy!

~~~~~


Steve wandered into the kitchen to get a snack and saw you on the couch, much to his surprise. The rest of the team was either out on missions or had gone out for the evening, including you he had thought. It had been so quiet, he had completely thought he was the only Avenger home until he saw you channel surfing. There had been a few occasions where you two had been the only two home, but you always tracked him down to play a game or hang out, so it confused him that you hadn't told him you were home.


As far as Steve had known, you were going out with your boyfriend, Rodney, tonight on a date to celebrate your six month anniversary. He had overheard you talking to Natasha about it earlier that day and even though he was jealous, he couldn't help but smile at the excitement in your voice. Steve very much wished he was your boyfriend, taking you out on an amazing date, a romantic night you wouldn't forget, but he had blown his chances. With a sigh, he thought back to the night he screwed everything up.


Over half a year ago, the Avengers had attended one of Tony’s famous parties and Steve had been speechless when he saw you in a flowing blue dress at the event. Small, glittering hairclips held your hair up, though a few curls escaped to frame your face.


You took his stunned reaction for something else and looked down quietly. “Yeah, I know...I look ridiculous…”


“No…” Steve stepped close, smiling warmly at you. “(Name), you look beautiful.” His heart had quickened as you looked up at him, face beaming at the compliment.


Later that night, Steve saw you standing off to the side, watching the people out on the dancefloor. You were too shy to ask anyone to dance, but Steve could see in your eyes you really wanted to. So he had gathered up his courage and asked you to dance. With a shy smile and nod, you had taken his hand and together the two of you had spun in circles as a slow song began to play from the band’s instruments. Your hands came to rest on his chest and he desperately hoped you couldn't feel his heart racing beneath your slender fingers. He had avoided looking directly at you, directly into your (e/c) eyes, afraid his heart may stop altogether if he did. Finally, he met your gaze just when he realized the two of you had stopped spinning and were simply shuffling your feet ever so slowly. You smiled up at him and then suddenly your eyes were starting to close as you leaned up slowly on your toes, lips nearing his. His eyes widened as your eyes closed, but he panicked. Quickly, Steve looked away and saw the flowers on the tables nearby. “Oh, uhhh...red and gold flowers! Iron man colors. Just like Tony, huh?”


Your eyes had opened and you frowned, lowering back down on your feet. “Yeah...I guess.” It killed him to see the disappointment in your face, but you quickly recovered and after some drinks, pulled him back on the dance floor to teach him the Cupid Shuffle. Your smile was back to full happiness as you guided him through the steps, the rest of the night normal and light, but his heart remained heavy with regret.


He still wasn't sure why he had pulled away. Ever since you two had had your first mission together, Steve had felt this instant connection with you and his feelings had quickly developed until he realized one day that he loved you. So, to have the girl he loved leaning in to kiss him was a dream come true, but he had pulled away. Simply because he was shy and panicked!


Nearly a week afterwards, he had decided he would apologize and hoped you could forgive him and give the two of you a chance. After all, if you had tried to kiss him you must like him at least a little, but he couldn't find you anywhere in the Tower. Finally, he saw Thor and Tony watching some action movie. “Hey, do either of you know where (Name) is?”


Tony glanced over his shoulder at the super soldier. “Yeah, she went out a little while ago. All dolled up and everything.” Immediately, Steve’s heart dropped into his stomach. You didn't usually get dressed up unless there was a reason.


“Did...did she say where she was going…?”


Thor nodded, voice booming as he watched an explosion on the screen. “Yes! Lady (Name) said she had met a fellow in her travels earlier and wished to rejoin him tonight for some mead and nourishment!”


“She’s going out to dinner with some guy she met at the bookstore earlier.” Tony translated for the god of thunder as he turned back to the screen. “She looked reallyyy cute too. I wouldn't expect her back until tomorrow morning…” Steve couldn't see his face anymore, but he could hear the smirk in Tony’s voice.


“She did look quite lovely.” Thor nodded. The super soldier was surprised neither of the men looked up at the sound of his heart breaking.


Steve shook his head, bringing himself out of the painful memory and back to the present. He left the kitchen and walked over to sit beside you. Only after he had gotten close did he see the wine glass in your hand and the half empty bottle on the table. He frowned, picking up the bottle. “Have you been drinking?”


“A littleee…” Your voice was slurred slightly as you downed the rest of your glass and set it on the table as well as the remote that had been in your other hand. The entire time your eyes never ventured to his face, hair falling so it blocked most of your face from him.


“Why? You rarely drink and never this much.”


“Because we were out of ice cream.”


Something was very wrong. You had been so excited for your evening with Rodney. Yet, here you were at home, drinking, something you rarely did by yourself. He glanced at the screen where some random commercial was playing before looking back at you. “I thought you were going out tonight. Why are you home instead of out with Rodney?”


“Because he’s an assss…” Your voice dragged out the last word, but it startled Steve. You were always so gentle and sweet and...innocent. One of the things he loved about you was that you rarely ever cursed or acted impolite.


“(Name), what happened?” His eyes watched you with worry.


You sighed and turned your eyes on him at last. Now that you were looking straight at him, he could see your eyes were watery and red. Your cheeks were wet and he could tell that not only had you been crying, but it had to have been for a while. “Rodney and I were going to have dinner at our favorite restaurant to celebrate our anniversary…” Steve forced himself to nod along as you talked, still aching about this fact. “After dinner, we went back to his place. He had wanted to show me this new movie he got and said I could stay over afterwards. I said sure, I've slept over before, ya know?” Yes, Steve knew all too well...he hardly got any sleep those nights as his imagination ran wild with heartbroken thoughts of you. “But, anyway, we went over to watch the movie and halfway through the movie I could tell he wanted to do more than just...watch a movie…” Your voice cracked on the last part and Steve’s look hardened.


“(Name). Did he force you to do something?” His voice was hard, fists clenched. Steve wasn't sure if you said anything even remotely confirming his fears what he might do to Rodney.


“No. No, nothing like that.” You shook your head, eyes watering again. “It’s just…” To Steve’s surprise, you began to fidget shyly.


“Hey.” He reached out and squeezed your hand. “You can tell me anything.”


You nodded and sighed. “Well, I've stayed the night, but I've never...stayed the night.” You looked at Steve, until it clicked and his face reddened. The wine must have been making you open up more than usual because even though you two were extremely close this was a bit personal, even for you two.


“Okay...oh!” His brow furrowed. “But haven't you two been together six months now?”


You sighed, as if you knew that would be his response. “Yeah, I know. I’m old fashioned. I want to wait until I'm married. I guess I'm just an idiot…” Your look fell to the couch cushions, miserable.


This was a twist. He had thought he was the only virgin at the tower, but if this was true so were you. The sudden flutter he had at not being the only one was quickly overshadowed by your sad expression, however. Steve frowned and gave your hand another gentle squeeze. “You're not an idiot. That’s not true and you know it.” He meant it, but the next part was harder to say. “He’ll come around. This will blow over in no time.”


Sighing, you shook your head, a tear breaking free to slip down your cheek. “No. I told him and he scoffed at the idea. He said any girl that loved him wouldn't make him wait any longer. He said six months was way longer than he should have had to wait already. So, he told me to leave and said we’re through...”


The super soldier’s hand reached out to wipe away your tear and stroke your cheek. He wasn't even sure if you moved first or if he pulled you close first, but the next thing he knew you were curled up against his chest, legs pulled up on the couch, as his arms held you close. Your face was buried in the soft cotton of his shirt. Softly, Steve kissed the top of your head before resting his cheek against your soft hair. “He’s an idiot, then, because he knows you love him. Just because you won't...you know...doesn't mean you don't love him.”


“...that’s not true…”


“Huh?”


You pulled back enough to look up at him, but you stayed close enough that your body was still curled up close in his arms. It made his heart race at how you didn't pull away from him. Your look was so brutally honest and heartbroken as you stared up at him. “I never told him I loved him.”


A wave of relief flooded through Steve at this news. “You...you didn't?!” Immediately after, however, Steve felt a rush of guilt at his relief. You were upset, sitting before him with a tear stained face and here he was glad you hadn't fallen for another man.  “Why...why not?” He tried to make his tone casual, but knew he was failing. Steve just hoped the liquor dulled your observation skills enough that you didn't notice.


“Because.” Your eyes had cleared of tears, but they were glazed due to the wine. “I'm still into my old crush. I know he doesn't even like me like that, but I'm still in love with him.”


Steve’s heart quickened as you kept staring into his eyes. You couldn't mean him could you? No. That would be too good to be true.


Suddenly, your expression changed. You smiled, but it seemed sad. “Sorryyyy, I'm being suchhh a downer.” You pulled away, much to Steve’s displeasure. “I'll just go to bed.”


You began to get up, but Steve wanted to enjoy more time with you while it was only the two of you in the tower. “No!” You paused and glanced back at him in confusion. “I mean, you've had a rough night. It’s okay. Why don't we watch a movie?” Your eyes widened and he blushed red as he realized how you'd taken it. “Oh my god! That's not what I meant! What I meant is you love to watch Disney movies, right? But we rarely watch them. Pick one and I'll watch with you.”


You smiled and nodded. “Alright. Sounds nice.”


After Steve gathered some snacks, you popped the DVD of The Lion King in. It was one of your favorites and due to the wine, Steve got to see you get extra emotional while watching it. You giggled even more than usual at the funny points and cried even more when Mufasa died. He tensed as you wrapped your arms around his, burying your face in his sleeve. Soon, you calmed down as you watched, but your arms were still snug around his. Heart racing, Steve slid his arm free of your grasp, trying to ignore your pout, and slid it around you. He pulled you close to him and your head snuggled against his chest happily. It was such a perfect moment.


After a while, Steve noticed you had dozed off. It was right at the point where Nala and Simba reunited and he knew you loved that part, but you looked so peaceful sleeping he couldn't bear to wake you. Instead, he leaned over to put your bag of chips on the table, so you wouldn't crush it in your sleep. As he leaned over, you rolled to lay down in your sleep and, since he was off balance, tugged him down with you. Suddenly, you were laying on your back and Steve was inches above you, heart pounding at the closeness. On the TV, ‘Can You Feel the Love Tonight?’ played and Steve thought the song couldn't be any more appropriate. Yes. He did feel the love tonight. Holding you tonight in his arms protectively, all he felt for you was love. That’s all he ever felt about you.


He waited for a moment, waiting for you to stir, but the wine must have knocked you out because even after pulling the super soldier on top of you, you hadn't woken up. Steve just couldn't help it. He wanted to kiss you so badly. In sleep, you were even more beautiful, more sweet looking. He leaned down, eyes closing as he got closer to you.


“Mmmm…” His eyes flew open and he jerked away as you made the noise, but you were still asleep. “Steve…” His face blushed as you mumbled his name. Your eyelids fluttered and you looked up at him sleepy. “Steve?” Your hand came up to brush his cheek. “You're so red.” You giggled. “You're so cute!”


Your comment just made his blush deepen. “Did you just call me cute?”


Your smile was flirty and he knew it was the wine making you act this way, but try telling that to his racing heart. “Yes, I did. It’s adorable when you get so shy. I love it!” You giggled again, then paused, smiling up at him lovingly. “And I love you.”


Steve’s eyes went perfectly round. You...loved him? It wasn't one-sided? He actually was the crush you couldn't get over! “You...love me…?”


“Uh-huh.” Suddenly, your arms were around his neck and you had leaned in, pressing your lips to his. His head swam from the kiss, but before he could do anything you had pulled back, looking embarrassed. “Sorry. That wine really went to my head.” He watched numbly as you squirmed your way out from under him. Did you regret kissing him? Was it just the wine talking? “Thanks for cheering me up, Steve. I'm sorry about that...it won't happen again.” As you turned away, he caught the heartbroken expression on your face.


“(Name)!” He bounded off the couch and grasped your upper arm, spinning you to face him. Before he could over think it or chicken out, Steve pulled you in for a passionate kiss, holding you tight to him, refusing to let you go. After a beat, your arms had wound their way around his neck, kissing him back.


Once both of you were breathing heavy, you broke apart. “I love you too, (Name). I'm so sorry I pulled away all those months ago and wasted all this time.”


You smiled. “It’s alright. Goodnight, Steve.” You gave him one more soft kiss before happily skipping off to bed. Steve watched you go, feeling like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

~~~~~


Once the morning came around, Steve wandered into the kitchen on a mission. His mission involved a coffee pot and mug and he desperately wished all his missions were this easy. As he waited for the machine to brew his pot, Tony wandered in in pajama pants and an undershirt and slid onto a stool at the counter. “Poor me a cup too, will ya, Cap?”


Steve nodded and poured them each a mug, sliding Tony’s across the counter. The playboy drank some as he tapped away on his tablet. Steve unfolded the paper and casually leaned against the counter, reading the news as he drank. It was peaceful, considering both Tony and Steve were in a room together unsupervised.


A loud yawn made Steve look up from the paper as you came trudging into the kitchen. “Morning, Tony. Morning, Steve.” He couldn't help but smile at how cute you looked. Your hair was still a mess from sleep and you had on an oversized t-shirt and pajama pants. Apparently, Steve was the only Avenger dressed yet today. He watched you come around the corner, waiting for a morning kiss or something of the sort, but instead you just got a cup and poured yourself some juice. Steve watched you out of the corner of his eye until he saw you look up at him. “Hey, Steve?”


“Yes, (Name)?” He really hoped you hadn't caught him staring.


“Can I have the comics?” Your expression was innocent as you waited for a response.


Oh, no. Was it just the wine that had made you act like that? Or did you not remember last night? He passed you the comics and you smiled, hopping up on the counter to read as you drank your juice. You weren't acting any different. For whatever the reason, you were acting like last night didn't happen. With a heavy heart, Steve decided he would do the same for your sake.


Tony stood and took another sip. “Later, Cap. Later, cutie.” He wandered off, not even sensing the daggers Steve was shooting at the back of his head for his flirty line.


“Finally!” Suddenly, Steve felt something grip his shirt. “Thought he’d never leave!” Before he could respond, you had yanked him towards you by his shirt and pressed your lips to his.


Steve savored the kiss for a moment, then pulled back in confusion. “You remember last night?”


You frowned at him. “Uhhh...yeah? Should I not? Because I really want to. Speaking of things I want to do…” Your arms slid around his neck as you leaned in again.


“You acted like nothing had happened.”


You looked at him with a sad expression. “I didn't want Tony to tease you in case you didn't want to tell the others yet. You know he’ll look for any reason to annoy you. I'm sorry…”


So, that's why… Steve broke into a grin as he set his mug aside. “That was sweet of you. Thank you, but I don't care what anyone has to say about us. It doesn't matter.” Then Steve looked at you more shyly. “So...you remember everything from last night…?”


“Hmmm…” You tapped your chin in contemplation, gazing at the ceiling as you thought. “Well, I remember both of us saying ‘I love you’ and the two of us kissing. I also remember you humoring me and watching The Lion King with me. I remember us making up.” Your eyes flicked back to his and a shy smile spread across your lips. “I basically remember the whole evening...and how you owe me for months of lost time?”


An equally shy smile spread across Steve’s face as he rested his hands on the counter on either side of you. “Yes. Can I start with taking you out tonight on a proper date?”


You giggled. “Yes, you may, but I would like something before that.” At his questioning gaze, you slid your arms back around his neck. He grinned and leaned forward to kiss you. He would never back away from your kisses, your touch, ever again.